Magic Words

We have guest blogger this week, Craig Burk.  Craig is a speaker, facilitator, coach, and designer at www.craigburk.com, and one of the nicest, most engaged people you will ever meet.  If you want to feel better, more informed, and happy walking away from a conversation, have a coffee with Craig.  He is one of those people that if you ask for help, he would not only say “yes, how can I help,” but he’d come back afterwards and check in to see how you are doing and ask what more he can do.  He is that great of a person.  So without further ado, here is Craig’s post.

 

Imagine the last time you were incredibly frustrated, overwhelmed, or about to take on a daunting mountain of a task.  What’s the #1 thing you would have loved to hear from those around you?

How about this …

How Can I Help?

Those words are magic beans.  Plant them in the air and more often than not you’ll see new vines of opportunities sprouting.

They can apply when a friend is stuck or starting on a new journey, your spouse is at their wits’ end with two screaming children, or even when you are out there networking and making new connections.

They first occurred to me while traveling northern Italy with my parents, my wife, and my son Truett.  Traveling abroad with a two year old certainly has it’s joys and challenges and I’m lucky to have a mom who is eager to get involved.  Yet I noticed her first instinct or action wasn’t always what I needed or wanted in a given situation.  Instead, “How Can I Help?” was sweet music to my ears and allowed us to communicate more clearly.

In addition to opening up a good dialogue, they can feel wonderfully supportive.  Think of the last time a friend, neighbor, or co-worker was experiencing the loss of a loved one or devastated over some changing circumstances in their life.

“Everything happens for a reason” we might say in an often misguided attempt to offer a fresh perspective or cheer them up a bit.  But that’s probably not what they want or need in that situation.  Helping others is the most human thing you can do.  Foremost, they probably just need to be heard.  But offering your help lets them know you’ve got their back.

I believe this approach is powerful for real networking as well.  Too often, we are eager to meet someone new and tell them all the wonderful skills and services we have to offer, but we have to remind ourselves “IT’S NOT ABOUT ME.  IT’S ABOUT THEM.”

When you meet someone and begin hearing about what they do for a living, get curious and ask about what’s happening in their world.  What are they working on?  What’s life like at the office?  Our pains and our passions are the places of interest, energy, and need in our lives.  When we are connected enough to get a glimpse of those places in one another, it’s the perfect time to reach for those magic beans if you are genuinely interested in making a connection.

More often than not what you do for a living may not be of immediate service, but perhaps you know someone who can help and can make an introduction.  Perhaps there’s some small gesture you can make or follow up with that will allow you to show a little care.  And just maybe, those little gestures of generosity can snowball forward and make the world a bit more human.

 

Craig Burk is a speaker, facilitator, coach, and designer at www.craigburk.com

Craig looks like this:

CraigBurk

If you see him, be sure to say “Hello!”  He will be sure to give you that awesome smile!  

Now ask yourself, how are your customers and vendors asking for your help and how do you ask for theirs?  And how are you going to respond?